Jealousy

According to the Encarta 2009 Dictionary, jealous can be defined into 4 meanings:
1. Envious: feeling bitter and unhappy because of another’s advantages, possessions, or luck.
2. Suspicious of rivals: feeling suspicious about a rival’s influence, especially in regard to a loved one.
3. Watchful: possessively watchful of something
4. Demanding loyalty: demanding exclusive loyalty or adherence

I’m thinking that it really is an egotistic feeling to have but why is it so hard to avoid? I’ve never really been the jealous type of person when it comes to love, an occasional envy towards another’s advantages here and there but never have I been the jealous girlfriend. It sometimes gets me wondering though, could this be cause I’ve never really felt the need to be jealous or maybe cause I’ve never really cared that much. Again I’m reminded of my psychological analyses when I graduated high school, “Rininta has a tendency to be difficult to connect intimately with other people, making her ability to hold a relationship also difficult. Also her lack of tolerance and her firm mind will make it hard for her to find a partner that suits her wants”. I remember laughing my a** off reading that line in the report cause deep down I knew that I could be true. I’ve never really imagined myself settling down and having a big family. Not that I’ve had any problems falling in love or having a certain relationship with guys but I’ve always managed to drive them away at one point or another. All my life I’ve only imagined myself living alone in some apartment overlooking the city with lots of guy friends but not a husband or kid. Sometimes it creeps the hell out f me but at other times I still find that thought actually lots of fun. I’m still hoping that in the next 6 years something happens and changes that view of my future.

Currently I am in a relationship. It’s been hard because we’re not in the same town anymore but I’m trying my best to work everything out. Being a patient and sensitive girlfriend can be tough when in fact you really aren’t that type of girl. Most of my friends insist that I have a guy mentality when I date and I have found that to be true most of the time. Well at least now I don’t have to try too hard to be another kind of girl. The joys of finding someone that is somewhat alike!

Back to the title of this entry, jealousy. What is the proper reaction when you have a feeling that your boyfriend’s best friend has feelings for him? Should I be jealous?

I feel envious cause she gets to spend all this time with him having fun when I’m stuck home feeling dilemmatic and a little stressed out. I feel envious cause she doesn’t have to wait around for him to text or IM cause she’s the one he’s driving around making it hard for him to reply. I feel envious cause she can walk up to his place anytime she wants. I feel envious cause she gets to talk to him face to face which seems the only way to get an actual conversation out of him. It’s frustrating at times but I’ve never been mad at either of them for any of these envious feelings because I know it’s all me. If she does in fact have feelings for him, as long as he doesn’t respond shouldn’t be a problem, right? But I keep having this nagging feeling that something is going to bite me in the a**one of these days. Me being away and her being the one able to comfort and be with him at anytime is bound to be unsettling. Not that I want them to be apart or anything but I always have this annoying thought in the back of my mind, ‘if she is really the one that can make him happy then I should just back out respectively and let them be’. I remember something that has been said to me so many times I can’t even count, “I don’t believe that a girl and a guy can be best friends without at least one of them having feelings towards the other”. I was the one against this statement for so long but know I’m starting to think it may be true.

So, is what I’m feeling jealousy?? I’m not mad when they’re together but I have to admit it makes me sad just imagining it. It makes me want to cry at times and it makes me frustrated too.
Other girls would probably be at wit’s end by now, telling their boyfriends off meeting her and such but I just don’t think that’s necessary. Hoping that he understands how I feel and tries to distance himself is also a wishful thinking. I guess that’s what frustrates me the most, knowing that he knows about all this but keeps acting as of nothing’s wrong. Keeps being her number one guy in any situation.

I really hope I can get pass all these bad feelings and nagging suspicions. It’s driving myself crazy!!

November 23, 2009. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Dilemma

Every once in awhile life throws you a curve ball, either you bat it away or you avoid it and strike out. This is one of those times for me. I thought that after graduating I could get a little time off to relax and cool down after all the buzz from studying non-stop for 16 years (whewww) but it turns out life wanted something different from me. I guess now is the time I fix myself, repair all the damage that has been done over the 4 years I’ve been away from home. Apparently my parents think that being away from college for 4 years has changed me into a different person from when I left and they keep trying to mold me back into the little girl that sent off to college in the first place. Isn’t that the whole point of going away from home? To experience new things and to find who I really am? I feel like I’m going to explode and turn back into the sullen teenager I was the last time they tried to mold me. I hate this feeling and I really wish I could just have my own life and live it as I please. I’ve always been the type of person that lives day by day, not much planning and not properly scheduled. At least that’s what I’ve been doing the past 4 years which is completely different to how my parents view life. It’s tiring when you have to plan every single second of everyday and I hate being tired! How can I get them to understand that I like the way I am now? It’s an impossible situation really, I can understand why they would want me to be as they “parented” me for my entire life. But on the other hand I find no harm in letting me be as I am. So you get why I feel so torn?

I have so much I want to do, but I keep biting nails with the parents about the things I want. Grad school applications can wait until next year (at least I want to have a bit of time before another round of school) and I really want to continue piano, vocal, cello lessons in the mean time. Get a care-free part time job at some place that doesn’t require too much effort and just take it easy. But no, I according to the grand plan set out for me I have to get a high profile job now that will pay off my expenses for grad school, set off for grad school ASAP and stay on this high strung path they have me on. I’ve always had an escape when I was still in college. When things started to get too much at home I’ve always had the promise of college to look forward too or at least some absurd assignment that requires me to be back on campus early. Now all that is just wishful thinking.

Have you ever felt that the world is moving at a different pace then you? Have you ever felt lost and confused? Please give me pointers on what to do next!! Don’t get me wrong I love my parents, and I do respect them but I just don’t want to live in their pace and in their expectations.

I can only hope and pray that I have the ability to bat a home run for this curve ball. I need all my strength to hold on to what I am and my dreams for my life.

Soundtrack of the day:

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can’t complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It’s only beginning to find release

The time has come for my dreams to heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all cause you won’t listen

Listen I am alone at the crossroads
I’m not at home in my own home
And I’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind
You should have known, oh
Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more then what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
And now I gotta find my own

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh I’m free now and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all cause you won’t listen

Listen I am alone at the crossroads
I’m not at home in my own home
And I’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind
You should have known, oh
Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more then what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
And now I gotta find my own

I don’t know where I belong but I’ll be moving on
If you don’t
If you wont

Listen

To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete
Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more then what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own
My own

November 23, 2009. just me. Leave a comment.

Sleep deprived but having no problem with it!

I think it’s been about a month since I’ve actually had a decent wink of sleep. I’m either up all night working on something or just sitting around reading a good novel with my ipod in hand. Last time I had decent sleep was before all the thesis stuff started, which is such a long long long time ago. To all those going through that phase, I wish you all the best. Now I’m basically up all the time!

So recently, I moved back home to Jakarta. Well, at least technically that’s the story but I’ve actually been spending most of my time in Bandung. I’ve just realized that the saying ‘Home is where the heart is’ is soooooo true!! I don’t think I feel like Jakarta is home anymore. I miss my life here, being able to do as I please and to follow my own pace.

Anyways, I’ve found some extremely good activities to do while being in this sleep deprived state. Besides the obvious activity that could be fun, I have some things that I do when I just can’t sleep.

1. Browsing the internet (stay away from internet porn though, those nasty sites have proven to bring on some equally nasty computer viruses).
Facebook is actually one of the most tempting and addictive sites there is. Just start playing some quiz or game and it will probably take about 4 hours of the time you’re awake. Besides being everything wrong about the internet nowadays, it is easily one of the most entertaining sites to waste time. Plurk and Twitter are also pretty interesting cause you get to see who else is up and sometimes you get cool links to other sites that you can waste time on. Blogging has also proved to be a relaxing way to spend your nights, as I am doing right now! :)
Things to be careful for are online shopping, and visiting shopping forums. I guarantee that those sites will leave with a big notch in your savings account! Been there, done that!!

2. Watching movies or tv series marathons
Get some old dvds or some endless tv serials (such as FRIENDS!! Best tv show everrr!!) and just keep watching. I’ve never been the type to fall asleep while watching a movie so this is actually my favorite method of spending my nights. Being the movie and tv buff that I am sometimes I can watch 5 dvd’s in one night!!

3. Cleaning up
This may be the worst advice ever, but when it’s really late at night and you really have nothing to do this method may be one of the most productive ways to spend it. Seriously will leave you looking forward to seeing the place again in the morning..

4. Calling or texting or chatting
I’ve actually been known to chat in my sleep. Not on the phone, but on IM. Being sleep deprived may actually lead to some interesting yet nice conversations.

5. Smoking a cig on the balcony while star-gazing
Preferably done with someone you like or even have a crush on. But if you’re along bring along your ipod and just stare into the nothingness of the night.

6. Late night snacking
Be careful of the extra fat that builds up after this one!

7. Reading a good novel
Currently I have read about 7 novels in the last 2 weeks cause I just can’t get enough of my books!!

Well now I’m all out of ideas to blog. TTYL!!

November 18, 2009. just me. 1 comment.

As I Am – Miley Cyrus

this is one of the songs that i’m feeling right now.. gotta love her songs even if she does suck as a person.. wish i had a man to sing this song too.. then everything would be better..

Gonna stay in bed today
Cause I can’t stand the light
Don’t know why I get so down
I won’t be much fun tonight
And I can’t believe
You still wanna hang around me

It’s not so pretty all the time
You don’t mind
To you it’s all right

AS I AM
IS HOW YOU TAKE ME
NEVER TRY TO PUSH
OR MAKE ME DIFFERENT
WHEN I TALK YOU LISTEN TO ME
AS I AM
IS HOW YOU WANT ME AND
I KNOW I’VE FOUND THE PIECE THAT’S MISSING
I’M LOOKING AT HIM

I’m not the girl you think you see
But maybe that’s a lie
You almost know me better than
Me, myself and I
Don’t know a lot of things
But I know what I got

It’s not so perfect everyday
I don’t have to try
Cause it all falls into place

AS I AM
IS HOW YOU TAKE ME
NEVER TRY TO PUSH
OR MAKE ME DIFFERENT
WHEN I TALK YOU LISTEN TO ME

AS I AM
IS HOW YOU WANT ME AND
I KNOW I’VE FOUND THE PIECE THAT’S MISSING
I’M LOOKING AT HIM

Face to face, eye to eye
You’re standing there
Feels good on the inside
I don’t mind, I don’t care
You’re standing there
Seeing me for the first time
Seeing me for the first time….

October 1, 2009. Tags: , , . Music. Leave a comment.

Summer Movie Reviews!

So I’ve been so behind on this, but I gotta say I saw some pretty awesome movies this summer.. Or at least over these couple of months.. Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, Transformers, Public Enemies, The Hangover, The Proposal, Star Trek, Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaur, Up, G.I Joe, Wolverine, Night At The Museum, Angels and Demons, and much much more.. Wait, did I already do Wolverine??

This post is just gonna be the quick quips about all the above.. I haven’t actually seen Star Trek though.. But Chris Pine is already a GREAT reason to say that the movie is probably awesome.. I’m still anticipating the New Moon movie, it’ll be interesting to see whether the movie actually lives up to the hype surrounding it..

Funniest movie: UP!!! Disney takes the crown once again in animated features.. Ice Age was also pretty decent but I gotta say, the whole concept of Up was just genius.. Also a great breath of air to see an older main character.. Rather then the usual animals or little kids..

Biggest disappointment: Public Enemies. Reading the names Johnny Depp and Christian Bale already gave me tingles when I bought the tickets, but then I watched the horrid horrid movie and my eyes were tired.. Good thing Johnny Depp looks uber-sexy or I would’ve waltzed outta the studio!

Best graphical effects: Transformers. What can I say, Michael Bay really outdid himself in the graphic department.. Storyline was crap but other than that was uh-mazing!!

Favorite movie so far: The Proposal. Although it didn’t get the funniest movie title but I liked it soo much! Probably just the girl in me loving the corny romantic story line.. Still gotta love some Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds! The only let down was that Sandra and Ryan had absolutely no romantic chemistry.. It was just that the two of them were hilarious that makes the movie so wonderful..

The Hangover was mediocre.

Harry Potter turned into a sappy love story too grown up for the kiddy audience that patiently waited for the movie to come out.. It was a decent interpretation of the book (which was barely recognizable from the book anyways) but it took a real Harry Potter fan to understand the whole thing..

G.I Joe was some good action with a crappy cast! All the actors/actresses had mediocre acting skills with hot bodies and pretty faces.. It was entertaining enough but could’ve been better.. Good thing all of them were easy on the eyes.. :)

I think I’ve done Wolverine so I’m just gonna say that it was the worst special effects in a movie I have ever seen in this era.. Aren’t so many advancements being made in this area?? You couldn’t save up for more decent graphics man??

More later!!
Catch me on twitter if you can, @rinintapn

August 30, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Movies. Leave a comment.

7 Things I Hate About “Right Now”

I guess I’ve been having a hard couple of months.. So it’s about time I bitch a little bit about it.. People with bad gag reflexes are suggested to divert your attention from this post.. :)

1. My boyfriend has been out of the city for the last 5 months perhaps.. It sucks having a semi-long distance relationship.. Really we’re only a couple hours apart but his new workplace has some pretty strict rules about commuting and communicating with the outside world.. So far I’ve only been able to see him for 5 hours in the whole 2 months, I think..

2. I have this huge burden hanging over my head which is my final project – slash – paper – slash – thesis from hell! I’ve been working on this thing for almost 8 months and still errors are popping up all over the place! I gotta finish this one quick cause it’s due on 9th of this September.. Damn you 9-9-2009! Right smack on my best friend’s birthday too!

3. It’s because of no. 1&2, I don’t have anyone to vent to about my project! I don’t have anyone to ask questions about all the administration stuff either.. I’m so bad when it comes to my school administration needs..I suck at remembering dates and stuff..

4. My boyfriend isn’t here to cheer me up and take me out for breathers in between my lab hours.. I have to call up friends and find out what they’re doing and then ask nicely if they wanna hang out with me.. It kinda feels like I’m single all over again.. Except I can’t flirt with anyone!

5. I keep losing stuff around the house! Usually my BF (again..) is the one that can always find where I absurdly misplace my stuff.. But since he’s not here I can’t seem to find most of the stuff I need.. Like my library card, my laptop soft case, and my mouse pad! (Honey.. take the hint.. do you have any idea where those things are? ;p)

6. The weather is just freaky! One day it’s hot, the other it’s windy and cool.. No wonder I get the flu at the most random times! Being sick and working on a project is not the funnest of situations..

7. The last thing I hate about all this is, I think I might miss it when it’s all over and I’m unemployed & school-less too.. I love this life despite everything that’s going crazy in it.. Thank You God for helping me get through each and every day with a new lesson & a new experience.. Hopefully this all makes me a better person..

August 30, 2009. just me. Leave a comment.

American Idol FULL RECAP (Pt. II)

That last post was getting way way too long!! Still not going to post anything yet but just wanted to give acknowledgment to some people or groups that seem so against Kris Allen taking the American Idol title. I know it doesn’t seem fair and all seeing that Adam was the only one on stage able to actually steal a show but you have to admit Kris Allen did a really good job also. I think this is partly the judges fault having pimped Adam so early in the season that people failed to notice anyone else as much as him. But when it was just the 2 left I think many saw that Kris had actually been the survivor on the show. That and recent rumors of Adam being gay. Mark my words, Adam Lambert doesn’t need to be the American Idol to become a huge star. Take a look at Clay Aiken, he has by far accomplished more than Ruben ever could and he too was only runner up. Archuleta also has made quite a career for himself appearing on Hannah Montana and all that. Jennifer Hudson wasn’t even in the finals and she has out shined everyone from that entire season. Seriously guys just lay off Kris, he’s already humbled enough so he doesn’t need to be brought down anymore. His first reaction was “Adam deserves this”, never in Idol history has the winner said that before. He knows that so don’t make him feel bad about it. If you read through my recaps you will find that Kris truly has been as great as Adam, but just wasn’t as hyped about by the judges hence he didn’t stand out as much as Danny and Adam. Be at peace with it, embrace the new star!! If anyone deserved it more, it has to be Anoop. Seriously.

Most Popular Downloads On iTunes Week
Before the rundown of each night I’m just going to weigh in what I remember the most about each of them. This night the memorable performance was actually Lady Gaga at the result show. She can really work the stage and she proved that she’s not all eclectic pop but she also has serious chops. From the contestants I have to say that Allison’s wardrobe got way too much attention even though she gave a pretty good performance. Anoop stood out by talking back to Kara that got blown way out of proportion by Ryan at the result show. He didn’t sound annoyed at all, it was just disbelief. BTW, he looked uber hot this night with the suit and chains ;p
Kris also blew it out of the park with Ain’t No Sunshine finally giving a definition to Kara’s cryptic artistry she wanted so bad.

Songs From the Year They Were Born
Ah, the week I started hating Lil so much that I wished she would just get eliminated already. She had bad attitude during the comment session from the judges. Hm.. I think the only memorable thing of this night was Allison singing my favorite song “I can’t make you love me” with such power and emotion it brought a tear to my eye. Also making me tear up was Anoop, of course. I can’t help it people!! I’m obsessed with that guy! Matt G brought down the house with Stevie Wonder’s Part Time Lover, good dancing, good riffing, just the best I’ve heard from him yet.

Songs From Movies
This was the week the judges save was finally used on Matt G, again. Seriously this guy was saved like 2 times already throughout the competition. First with the Wild Card round and again on this night.

Disco Week
The only two to successfully do this theme were Matt G and Kris Allen. Matt G did a great rendition of Stayin’ Alive which didn’t receive much praise from the judges though. Kris kept it simple with She Works Hard for the Money, turns out making acoustic versions of songs is his strong suit. Lil was again a big disappointment after braving a Chaka Khan song.

Rat Pack Week
Best mentor of the season!! Jamie Foxx actually taught the kids something and they improved so much after it. Danny was in his element this night but Matt was actually the stand out. Kara must be blind to say that he didn’t have an emotional connection with the song. If you listen to the studio recording you will definitely hear Matt at his best. Even Danny couldn’t compare to it.

Rock Week
Most memorable performance of the ENTIRE Season 8 is.. Adam and Allison’s duet with Slow Ride. Truly the best duet ever to be done on the Idol stage. The show should keep doing the duet thing it’s great to watch. Danny and Kris kinda sucked though.

Top 3, Judges Choice and Contestants Choice
I have to say the only thing I remember was Kris Allen doing an acoustic version of Kanye West’s Heartless. Certainly was the highlight of the entire show. Danny also showed some serious chops on You Are So Beautiful but it was so predictable that the magic was kinda lost. Adam was also very Adam with Cryin’ so the surprise was really Kris.

FINALE
TOO MANY GREAT THINGS!! I remember my jaw nearly hitting the floor after Ryan announced that the winner was Kris Allen. Mind you I watched that at 7 o’clock in the morning so my half asleep brain was assuming that Adam would be the easy win. I wasn’t even tense watching Ryan opening the envelope (unlike last year’s David vs. David where I was literally on the edge of my seat). Best guest star had to be Anoop being back on the stage. I’m sorry, it’s just me. I promise to be more light on the Anoop quips in the full rundown later this week. Take care and enjoy the weekend!!

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

American Idol FULL RECAP!!

I’m going to do something crazy here before all the euphoria over American Idol disappears and try and relive each week and add my comments on them! With an external hard disk plugged in, off we go!
I’m going to skip auditions and Hollywood week cause if you’re not an Idol fan you wouldn’t really get some of the huge drama that went down. Let’s just say that I agree with Kristen McNamara, “you haven’t officially seen everything in the music business if you haven’t been through Hollywood week on American Idol”. Sure got that right! Also gonna skip full recaps of the first 3 shows cause let’s face it not all of them were memorable, but I am going to do a short recap here:

Before the Top 13 was chosen there was..
Week one of the whole season started off with a lot of front runners from auditions and Hollywood. Michael Sarver, Alexis Grace, Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai (sigh..), Ann Marie Boskovich and Ricky Braddy were among the bunch. Based on votings though, I thought this night was a pretty bad judgement call on behalf of America. Obviously the best male singer was Ricky compared to Sarver who failed miserably before the Top 10. I’m a bit biased here cause I ADORE Anoop Desai! Also entertainment from Tatiana Del Torro there, it was so funny watching Ryan pick between Danny and Tatiana. Duh, Danny was easily the one in the group. The three that got in: Danny, Alexis, and Michael. I nearly fell apart watching Michael getting picked over Anoop. Seriously America??

The week after was clearly the toughest group to choose from with Matt Giraud, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, Megan Joy, Allison Iraheta, Mishalova Henson. I bet no one thought that Kris would win after the Man in the Mirror stint here! Adam clearly stole the night here but it wasn’t his best cause he was pretty into the whole screaming thing. I think along the season he actually toned it down a bit. Nick Mitchell aka Norman Gentle was in the group here and did one of the most entertaining performances ever on Idol. Allison blew it away with Heart’s Alone clearly showing that she was someone to look out for. The three in Top 13 was: Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, and Allison Iraheta.

The last week before the Wildcard round wasn’t really a tough call. No one was really memorable here. Lil Rounds was in the group along with Felicia Barton, Von Smith, Scott Macintyre, Jorge Nunez, and Kristen McNamara. I have to say that this week was an easy win for Lil Rounds cause clearly she had the best voice out of that group. The three in the Top 13: Lil Rounds, Scott Macintyre, and Jorge Nunez. The end of the result show ended with some of the contestants being picked for the wild card round, and it was bad calls for the judges. I have no idea what they were thinking!! Lots of the good ones were left behind. I remember jumping up for joy when Simon called Anoop. But then it sunk again when I found out that the judges were choosing who went through to the stage shows.

Wildcard was the worst judging call in the history!! Jasmine Murray getting picked over Ricky Braddy?? Come on!! She was dumped the first week anyways clearly showing how nobody likes her anyways. The judges kept going on about “package artist”, hello Felicia Barton was waaaaay better then her and she didn’t even get the chance! I think the 4 judges didn’t really want to go back on their word with not choosing Felicia at first. Tatiana was given a second chance which was stupid considering that Ariana Afsar and Felicia Barton deserved it so much more. I guess they were trying to spice up the show a bit, but isn’t that playing with other people’s careers? Happiest moment was when they announced that the originally TOP 12 was going to be a TOP 13 to include Anoop! See, from the start he was special!! He looked so cute when Simon told him that he was in the TOP 13. Into the TOP 13 from Wildcard was Jasmine Murray (boooooo..), Anoop Desai, Megan Joy, Matt Giraud.

TOP 13:
1. Alexis Grace
2. Michael Sarver
3. Danny Gokey
4. Kris Allen
5. Allison Iraheta
6. Adam Lambert
7. Lil Rounds
8. Scott Macintyre
9. Jorge Nunez
10. Matt Giraud
11. Jasmine Murray
12. Megan Joy
13. Anoop Desai

Michael Jackson Night
Lil Rounds – The Way You Make Me Feel
It was a decent performance, no sparks though. But the judges went slightly over the top with the comments saying that she has swagger and such. Didn’t really get the hype cause she was good but not really memorable. Back then I was thinking that she could do better then that, the nerves were just getting the best of her. Kara said something along the lines of a magnificent last note that Lil “snuck” in, it wasn’t all that great Kara. Really sensed a lot of favoring this season.

Scott Macintyre – Keep the Faith
I thought it was one of Scott’s most memorable performances on the show. I don’t really remember any of the other ones except the horrible one that got him kicked out of the competition. You could really hear his interpretation of the song through his heart. He made it into an inspirational performances that really touches the soul. Good one Scott!! I think he’s been through a lot so he chose songs that can be sent as a message to others. Truly a good guy this one.

Danny Gokey – PYT
Was a little weird with his dancing but overall it was pretty good. This was the moment that everyone knew he was pretty versatile as an artist. Didn’t make much changes to the melody and it wasn’t all that artistic, but he had good chops! I really think Danny shouldn’t dance when he’s on stage, it makes it seem really amateur when he does and it’s bad. At least he got Kara and Paula to dance a bit there. Paula made a prediction that would later be proven wrong that Danny was going to go all the way. Well he did make it as far as the Top 3 but i sense that Paula was talking about finals. That’s what you get when you pimp out a contestant too early in the competition. Too much hype builds up and ruins the moment.

Michael Sarver – You Are Not Alone
Yeah, it was alright. Nothing special at all. Again the judges with the over the top raves about how soulful and bla bla bla. After the show ended I didn’t even remember what he sung! Still think that Michael was a bad choice from America and Ricky would’ve done that song a 100x better than that.

Jasmine Murray – I’ll Be There
Predictable song choice, bad interpretation, bad phrasing, bad voice, bad dress, and overall just one of the stupidest choices for Wild Card EVER. She thinks she’s pretty and all that because the judges keep leading her on about it. Seeing potential and stuff, I think the judges were just drunk not thinking at the time.

Kris Allen – Remember the Time
Really really really BAD. It was off key, his voice became strained in places, and he didn’t look like he wanted to be there. He definitely got by on looks this night. I hadn’t really noticed Kris for the first couple of weeks there but he certainly improved every week.

Allison Iraheta – Give Into Me
Awesome! She can really turn any song into an Allison song. Giving a Michael Jackson song like that into a gruffy rock ballad was pretty good. Saw potential for Allison here. (Now that is potential people, unlike a certain J lady).

Anoop Desai – Beat It
It was NOT as bad as the judges made it out to be. He just didn’t do anything original with the song. His vocals were in tune and fine all the way through. It was just performance wise did the whole thing get blown out of proportion. The judges basically threw him under a bus, and drove over him again 3 times. Seriously people. I hated the judges on this season. Favorin Gokey and Lambert from the start and throwing Anoop to the curb every other moment. People that compare him to Sanjaya will have to leave comments here so I can defend him in every way possible. Anoop’s smug little attitude during the performance was just a show people, the song is called Beat It anyways. Simon went over the line when he said that it was like karaoke. No one could karaoke like that! Be real dude. Even Paula didn’t say anything nice.

Jorge Nunez – Never Can Say Goodbye
Considering he had a whole country voting for him and he still didn’t get through is enough said. Every one from Puerto Rico must have voted for their guy but he still got kicked out in the first week. Out of tune, bad interpretation, and really not the good at all.

Megan Joy – Rockin’ Robin
I have to know, do the judges hear a different version when their live? Cause telling Megan she picked the wrong song was sooo WRONG!! It was perfect for her voice, and it was perfect for her personality. You can totally imagine Megan singing about birds, right? Judges gone crazy once again. She looked good, her voice was on top of her game, and she nailed it. Albeit the cawing towards the end was kinda awkward but so Megan. She does seem like the type of girl that will stay true to herself no matter what.

Adam Lambert – Black and White
The recording version was so much better then the live one. Live performances for Adam are about the show he puts on as seen through this one. Still overboard with the screaming though, he still hadn’t found that perfect combination of low and high as he did during the last weeks. Comparing to the rest of the gang it was a pretty decent performance.

Matt Giraud – Human Nature
Perfect song choice for Matt here. His falsetto was awesome and wasn’t off key, he interpreted the song beautifully, and did a great job on the piano. He’s one of those guys that has a really cool and calmed vibe to him. I thought he did great here.

Alexis Grace – Dirty Diana
100% agreed with Simon that said Alexis was thinking she was better then it actually was. Too many riffs and yelling all over the song. Taking the dirty up advice a bit too far. She really is expressionless when the comments come. A little bit smug to say the least. She looked good though, liked the necklaces and shoes.

Best performance of the night goes to.. Danny with PYT, I still remember that performance which is a sign that it was good.
Worst performance was unfortunately Kris Allen. He made me mute the TV for awhile there. Even his recording was off.
Eliminated: Jorge and Jasmine.

Country Night
OK, back to work now!
This week the guys got their first mentor Randy Travis from the Grand Ole Oprey and he didn’t really give any pointers to the kids. Just listened to them. But he was OK and it was really cute when he was dealing with Adam Lambert and his middle eastern fiasco for the night.

Michael Sarver – Ain’t Going Down Till the Sun Goes Down
It was a messy jumble of words this one. There were so many lyrics that it was crazy that Sarver could remember all of them. But with his weak phrasing it didn’t make any sense and he was mumbling parts of it that made it more and more incomprehensible. Didn’t like this one at all! Randy said it didn’t do anything for his voice which I agree. Kara said something about his personality coming out which doesn’t even make sense at all! Simon thought the same as me that he couldn’t hear a single word he was singing and also clumsy. They’re all pushing that he is a likable guy nothing about being a good singer.

Allison Iraheta – Blame It On Your Heart
She can definitely sing the phonebook and make it sound good. Nobody with that rocker feel has ever done good on country night. I guess she picked the right song and it really showed the maturity of her voice. Simon said that it looked like she was struggling with remembering the words. She looked good too in a chocolate colored leather jacket. Loved this performance, showed her versatility. Randy said it was dope!

Kris Allen – To Make You Feel My Love
BRILLIANT performance from Kris. Makes up for his disaster the week before. Just him sitting on a stool belting out a heartfelt ballad stripping down the song to the minimum. His voice sounded good, he looked relaxed, and he made a connection with the audience. Paula went deaf a little and said that he was off tune in bits which wasn’t true. Simon also said that it was brilliant. He was looking at his wife during the song which made it really sweet.

Lil Rounds – Independence Day
Again another mediocre song from Lil. Everyone keeps waiting for her to blow away the audience like she did at the auditions and small stage. I think she wants so bad to come across as a big song diva when she’s a R&B singer with the attitude. Making all her song choices all wrong. Hilarious part was when Simon called her “Little”.

Adam Lambert – Ring of Fire
Agree with Simon on this one, what the hell was that??? Crazy making a country song into a middle eastern twang there. It showed that Adam didn’t like country but that was it. It wasn’t any good and it made me want to fast forward until it was over.

Scott Macintyre – Wild Angels
Decent performance, again with the message sending songs for inspiration. It was all good except that it was starting to feel like that was the only genre that Scott could do. From the auditions till now all songs were along that line. He was a bit off tune in parts but he did play the piano beautifully and arranged the song into his own. He’s more of a piano player then singer.

Alexis Grace – Jolene
Ugh! Horrible, off tune, trying too hard to be Dolly Parton, and just a huge disaster. She definitely didn’t choose the right song this week making it hard to see all the groove she has in her.

Danny Gokey – Jesus Take the Wheel
He has great vocals but his stage presence is still a bit off. Practically yelled in some parts of the song, not in a really bad way though. His costume was really odd seeing as it was in L.A. and he was wearing this white jacket that usually people use for skiing. It was a good performance but it didn’t do anything for me.

Anoop Desai – You Were Always On My Mind
Beautiful beautiful beautiful. It was touching, it made me believe he was singing for me, and he looked HOT as always. This performance definitely made up for his mediocre one during Michael Jackson night. The judges took him out from under the bus and praised him for his vocals. Smooth, tender, and honest. One of his best performances ever. Simon said “Anoop, you just managed to go from zero to hero. In a way it was one of my favorite performances of the night”. Yeay!!

Megan Joy – Walking After Midnight
Being sick with heavy flu and cough she was actually pretty good. As Randy said it was a jazzy, bluesy, country, kinda thing. The high notes were a bit strained probably because her nose was so stuffy. One of her best performances on the show.

Matt Giraud – So Small
Compared to Michael Buble by Simon and Justin Timberlake by Randy. It was good, you could feel his emotion and see how well he plays the piano. He worked the dynamics of the song and just made it really nice. This guy has not been given enough credit for his incredible talent.

Best performance.. a tie between Matt Giraud and Anoop Desai. Both did awesome heartfelt songs!
Worst performance.. Sorry but this night was actually Adam Lambert that made the worst possible mess.
Eliminated: Alexis Grace (have no idea why everyone dubbed this to a shock elimination with the judges not even saving her, she just doesn’t have that something special for the stage.

Motown Night
Smokey Robinson as mentor and they took a trip down Motown memory lane down to Detroit. All the songs are classic Motown songs.

Matt Giraud – Let’s Get It On
Took time to step out from behind the piano after doing a quick piano intro. His sexy smooth voice did wonders for this song making him put in the same league as Danny as a front runner. Kara and Paula actually looked like they wanted to jump him right then and there. His riffs were all in place and gave the song his own twist. Over all a good performance.

Kris Allen – How Sweet It Is
Gave off a John Mayer vibe with his guitar in hand. Looked really cute this night but clearly you could see that it was effortless. You can almost imagine hearing his and Matt’s voice on the radio in the near future. He told a story with the song by playing up the dynamics and changed the arrangement a bit. Simon pointed out that he didn’t have the stage confidence yet.

Scott Macintyre – Can’t Hurry Love
I didn’t like this rendition of the song. Scott sounded so strained that it was painful to hear. He fell off the tune in most parts of the song but I have this feeling that the judges didn’t mind that he did that. Only Simon was honest saying that the version wasn’t any good. He tried to do a different feel to the performance by bringing up the backing vocals up against the piano. It was just a bad song choice.

Megan Joy – For Once in My Life
Again classic for the judges to throw her under the bus. I loved her outfit though this night. She did try to change up the arrangement to better suit her unique voice but it was a key too high. If she lowered the key a notch it would probably be a better performance. After hearing it again she did go off in bits but it wasn’t like the judges said. They all said that the song choice was off. Actually thought it suited her voice but it was just too high. Randy went too far by saying that it was a train wreck.

Anoop Desai – Ooh Baby Baby
Another really soulful performance by the cutie. I kept playing back his performance over and over again just to be sung too by him. He does really good interpretations and his riffing wasn’t bad either. The song was hard too cause it went from low to high in one phrase. I don’t think he gets enough credit. HOT guy with a smooth voice (sigh) what more could you want? All the judges agreed that it was a great performance.

Michael Sarver – Ain’t Too Proud to Beg
Lets just say that it was no wonder he got the boot after this night. Picked the wrong song Sarver! He never really found his place in the song making it awkward.

Lil Rounds – Heat Wave
Being the only african american in the competition you would think that she would have the upper hand in the competition cause the songs in this song book would ultimately suit her voice. But she chose the weirdest one of them all. She got extra pimpage during the result show by leading the group songs and standing in the front. I think she’s too confident because all of the raving from the judges before. Wrong song choice yet again. It was the biggest disappointment of the night.

Adam Lambert – Tracks of My Tears
Smooth and beautiful. Loved seeing Adam without all the stage costume he puts on for most shows. He wasn’t wearing any nail polish either. This unplugged version was really good and he made a strong connection with the audience. Kept the screaming to a bare minimum which made it more easy to listen. If you listen really closely with earphones you can actually hear him struggling to find his place in the high notes. I think it was more of a surprise rather than an amazing performance. But I do have to say that it was one of the best performances of the night.

Danny Gokey – Get Ready
Did not understand the dancing and going back to the back up singers. Vocally it was good but a standard Danny number. He actually sounded a bit out of breath towards the end of the song. It was just good and it did sound amateurish.

Allison Iraheta – Papa Was A Rolling Stone
Allison brought funk to the stage! I get the shivers every time I play back that performance. It was an amazing performance, seriously. Her voice sounded good, she played the song to the maximum with that small amount of time. She can make any song into her own which is pretty hard to do in times. Simon actually painted a moustache on Paula during the comment session making everyone avert their attention from Allison to see the couple battle it out.

Best performance of the night definitely goes to Allison Iraheta. I still don’t get why she keeps getting in the bottom 3. Adam is close second but he already gets so much hype that I’m sticking with Allison on this one.
Worst performance has to be a tie between Scott and Michael.
Eliminated: Michael Sarver

Most Popular Downloads On iTunes Week
To be continued on a later date..
Songs From the Year They Were Born
Songs From Movies
Disco Week
Rat Pack Week
Rock Week
Top 3, Judges Choice and Contestants Choice
FINALE

May 21, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . TV Shows. 2 comments.

Amazing!!

I just finished watching He’s Just Not That Into You and realized that I’ve got to go out and find the book for this movie!! I bet the book is one of those self help books you read and say “OMG, this is sooo me!”. Cause the movie was exactly like that. I don’t think this will be much of a movie review rather than a character analysis. It perfectly shows how both men and women tend to be psycho when they go out on that big adventure called dating. I know Indonesians don’t really “date”, we just head straight into a relationships and it’s actually pretty great cause watching people on TV date is painful enough. But we do go through the motions of some guy flirting and hitting on you. I mean maybe some people go out and date but not many.

So, guy goes out on date gets girls number but never calls. Sound familiar? That has actually never happened to me but not because I’m drop dead gorgeous or anything but in Indonesia if you have been out with the girl that means you’re totally interested. You wouldn’t ask some girl out to dinner if you didn’t think anything was going to happen. I can’t really explain it but I think that’s what happens. I’ve had some guys take me out to lunch and never bother to ask for another meet up, does that count as this kind of let down? I really don’t get why girls have to wait around for the guy to call? Nowadays you can just send a text too. But is it really that degrading to call the guy up? If you want it than go for it!! When I had a crush on my current boyfriend, I didn’t wait around for him to text me or call me I went straight to business and made the first move. We’ve been together for like 3 years so I’m pretty sure I didn’t mess that up! Sometimes guys get shy too, so we can’t always count on them to make the first move. Or maybe the guy didn’t expect you to like him so he was afraid to dive in. Take the leap and just pick up the phone! IM, text, call, email just connect with the guy and pull him out into the real world.

Hook-up buddies definitely don’t happen here (at least as far as I know) so I don’t have good advice in that area. In my opinion it’s just bullshit to have a hook up buddy and not feel a thing for him/her. No way could a physical connection not be based on some sort of emotional attraction. Probably most hook up buddies end up together anyway.

Cheating is really unforgivable. The definition of cheating is also really loose cause does an emotion count as an affair? I’ve been watching a lot of Brothers & Sisters lately (you should check it out) and I’ve been getting the feeling that not only does hooking up or sleeping with another person define as cheating. Sarah only had an emotional affair with her boss and Joe acted like it was the straw that broke the camels back. But in the movie, Scarlett Johanssen definitely have no trouble hiding her breasts for complete view of the married guy. She’s practically rubbing them in his face. Of course he falls for it. This is an example of teenage marriage gone totally wrong. The guy was forced to marry by his girlfriend and obviously he just wasn’t ready, hence the affair. I think marriage shouldn’t be something you have to do when you’re older but more like something you want to do because you can’t imagine a life without that other person.

What about that good best

guy friend

you’ve had forever but never thought of in a romantic way? Gigi in the movie definitely had that going for her. After failing miserably at ever relationship and date she had, she finally realized that the guy she has been leaning on for so long was her answer. Dating a good friend has many many many risks as I can attest too. But in the end dating your best friend is the best feeling ever. You don’t have to bother to tread carefully through the waters of getting to know him cause he has been in your life forever. Besides that you can tell him anything at all and not be weirded out about it. There is always the fact that if you break up you may never be able to go to the friend path anymore, but I think it’s only a matter of self control. I’ve had a huge success in maintaining friendships with guys I’ve dated before and it’s not at all weird. We just make a joke about the time that we were together.

I’m so confused right now as to what I’m writing exactly. I hope someone out there reads and understands my venting and ranting. More updates from TV later on in the week. Finals are looming over the horizon.

May 18, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Movies, just me. 2 comments.

TV Shows Are Ending!! (Part 2)

2. GOSSIP GIRL
I have to say that Gossip Girl has been somewhat of a disappointment do far. The love triangles are tiring, Serena is being stupid, what’s up with Rufus and Lily, Vanessa has no pull in anything, Jenny hasn’t been on for much.. I think the storyline is too complex to enjoy. Chuck, Nate, and Blair haven’t resolved anything and it seems so sudden for Blair to be forgiven by Nate after the stunt she pulled. Chuck is still obviously in love with her and it’s all such a drag! The last episode was about Blair’s dream prom but it had flashbacks of Lily during her wilder childhood. It was all very confusing!! Blair breaking things off with Nate at the end was kind of random after being crowned prom queen. What did the line “he’s just my highschool boyfriend” mean anyways? The best scene of the episode has to be Serena and Blair on the steps of the prom declaring how much they mean to each other.

Rufus not seeing what Lily has always been is also kind of weird. I mean Lily has never been the one to get the mother of the year award but I thought that was Rufus’ type seeing that Allison is never in the picture anymore. Flashbacks were also kinda awkward cause we didn’t really experience the “wild child” in Lily cause it was all when she was still miss goody two shoes. But the van der woodsen guy there is supposedly Serena’s Dad, right? Why wasn’t that part of the story more exposed? Didn’t get all the hype about Cece being a bad mom either. She had very good reasons behind everything, you have to admit Lily’s dad was a jerk! He didn’t even care about her at all, why did she hate on Cece for that??

Next episode is the season finale and everything looks pretty exciting. We are one step closer to unmasking the infamous Gossip Girl blogger. Hopefully Blair and Chuck make things work again. I also hope that the season goes out with a bang.

3. BIG BANG THEORY
I keep meeting people that know nothing about this hilarious show. Seriously people it is sooooo good!! I keep expecting Penny to hook up with the Sheldon for some weird reason. Usually when people detest each other as much as they do something will eventually happen. But Penny was so annoying when she didn’t tell Leonard to his face that she doesn’t want him to leave!! Why can’t she just get over the fact that she’s not as smart as him and just go out already!! Leonard is the least geeky anyways in some ways. Anyone notice the scene in the north pole where their little shack is exactly the same as Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment. That has Sheldon written all over it.

Kinda weird how much Howard didn’t want to go on the trip. Doesn’t he hang with Sheldon everyday? Why was he making such a big deal out of spending the summer together? And all the quip about killing him just didn’t make any sense at all. It would’ve been hilarious to have Leslie Winkle on that trip with the guys. I hope this show doesn’t get cancelled anytime soon.

4. AMERICAN IDOL
Aahhhh.. The finale is nearing.. I can’t wait!! This weekend is American Idol marathon on Star World asia. Get to see Anoop again!!

So I’m thinking Adam is the definite shoo-in for the title especially against Kris Allen there. Unless Kris pulls another stunt like Heartless. That was so good I kept rewinding the tape over and over again. We always knew that he had it in him but he’s usually so reserved about his music. There was another amazing performance he had when Kara said that he had artistry. But I can’t remember it for the life of me. I’ve never really been a fan of Adam but he has gotten way better over the weeks. At least his screaming doesn’t seem so ridiculous anymore cause he’s brought it down a notch. Kris on the other hand has been a huge dark horse in the competition. He could be the new David Cook with his twist on covers.

I still stand firmly by my opinion that Matt, Anoop, and Allison were eliminated far too early in the competition. Danny should’ve left on the night Allison did. A great final would be Adam up against Allison. I think Danny didn’t get in because of his smug attitude at Allison’s elimination. Anoop Desai looked friggin’ hot last night in the audience. No joke he is by far the cutest contestant ever!! Even Cook, as cute as he is, nothing compared to the soulful Anoop.

My opinions on the top 4 performances:
Rock Night was pretty interesting I bet for Danny and Kris since it’s soooo not their genre at all. Suprisingly Kris kinda made it seem ok. On the other hand Danny was a nightmare away from being on a horror movie! Danny sang Aerosmith’s Dream On that has never been the same since Micheal Johns sang it on the show. Danny was OK in the front part of the song with a bit of pitchy problems in the middle but it was just OK. No sparks like Johns had last year. I didn’t feel any connection to song and was surprised Kara didn’t mention that. I hated his smug look at end like he was so sure he did it right. Allison did an amazing job with Crybaby by Janis Joplin and wasn’t being at all disrespectful when she talked back to Simon. Unfortunately I think that’s what got her eliminated. She belted the whole song out in perfect pitch had the right rock attitude and was just superb. Adam was so in his element with the classic Led Zeppelin song. I think when he makes an album he should make a classic rock on like AC/DC type songs. He has the voice that not many singer have anymore. Besides he doesn’t sound as good when singing pop songs. He hasn’t made screeching sounds in the last couple of weeks so it’s been nice hearing him sing. Kris sang a good Beatle song which was a safe choice for him (Come Together) but of course Carly Smithson sounded waaay better singing it last season. Throughout the performance I was comparing his rendition to hers and it was way below par.

Then came the duets with Danny with Kris and Adam with Allison. The Danny-Kris song was bad, it didn’t sound very nice, the pitch was all over the place, Danny tried to make it a bit R&B which failed horribly. They did sound good in harmony but that was about it. Then came magic. Adam and Allison sounded soooo good together that it made me want to cry. Paula got it right when she said that their duet was the perfect marriage. Adam brought out the best of Allison and she toned him down a bit so the sounded perfect. Slash did a standing ovation for them too! Definitely should do a duet in the future.

Top 3 performances:
I think I blocked the first songs out of my head so bad. I remember Adam doing a song by U2, One wasn’t it? It sounded good but not exactly great. Danny did a dance song that wasn’t very nice and Kris sang Apologize. Kris was actually pretty decent but agree with Randy and Kara that he should’ve rearranged it a bit to his style better.

Second round was so good. I don’t remember any idol picking good songs all in one show. Someone usually always screws it up. Danny did a good rendition of You Are So Beautiful and it was the best vocals ever. I just think people were getting tired of his smug and goody-goody attitude towards the show. I definitely think that Kris and Adam are the nicer 2 out of the 3. I have to agree with Simon though that it was a vocal masterclass. Kris was downright AMAZING!! My jaw dropped to the floor when I heard he was doing Kanye West. How could he do that song at all?? I had a vague twang when I remembered David Archuleta’s attempt at Chris Brown. I was in fear it was going to end up like that. But then Kris was on stage with an Acoustic Guitar. Hello.. Didn’t see that one coming, and then he started singing. I couldn’t believe my ears!!!! How could heartless sound so smooth and cool?? He definitely has the talent to arrange songs into amazing songs. I instantly remembered David Cook’s Always be my baby that ensured his spot in the finals. I think this was the same situation causing Kris to pass Danny on the way to the top. Adam was really good too with Crying by Aerosmith. It actually sounded really good but the star of that night was definitely Kris.

Finale is going to be interesting, with all the judges rooting for Adam. He has ever only gotten on bad critic and that was in country week with his arabic, eastern disaster. I’m pretty sure he’s going to win though. Oh well, we’ll just see what happens next week.

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
I can’t help but put my two cents in here. I just watched the final show last night and I almost screamed when Tyra picked Teyona. Obviously Teyona has been a hugh shoo-in for Tyra since the beginning but all through the deliberation Allison was getting the better critics. She’s sooo pretty and she has improved on her walking soo much. Her photo shoot was flawless, she did a little dancing at the fashion show, she had better photo’s then Teyona, and she has that unique face to go with it. Teyona actually has pretty much the same sideways pose every single time. The exact pose that got Sandra eliminated in the first place. Allison is also the one with a better attitude here. Come on Tyra!! I’m starting to think that Natalie is right, you do favor the black models more. Eliminating Celia was also pretty stupid since she always has been 25, same thing goes to Fo has always been that short. If you weren’t going to make her top model why put her through at the beginning? Celia doesn’t look old, she just is. The modeling world is just so cruel with girls. No wonder many end up doing drugs and stuff. Celia would be an amazing stylist or fashion editor at a magazine.

Anyways, Allison is way more deserving of the title Tyra! Come on girl, get it together..

Well, I’m beat.. Continue next time..

May 15, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . TV Shows. 2 comments.

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